After 18 years.... I finally have an answer....

Just a warning..I have to get my feelings down. This one has been a big blow to me today.

I have had chronic pain in my shoulder for the last 18 years. When I was working at PDQ, a pizza place, I dropped a bucket of ice on my shoulder. Thanks to that I haven't had a moments rest with the shoulder and I am sure the 10 years of working on the computer hasn't helped any.

I have tried various doctors, chiropractors, physical therapy, MRI, x-rays, shots, muscle relaxer, you name it. Life on that front has been hard. I am in constant pain, even when I try and sleep. There are most nights I can't sleep from the pain and I have chronic fatigue so anyway you look at it sleep isn't my friend. It started to kill me a few weeks ago, so I decided since I already was at the doctor for my stomach (stupid stomach do I really need one!) to complain again. He gave me a referral to see a specialist. Really I think it's about time!

I went to the doctors today, I guess you can say yesterday now. They took more x-rays, they never can find anything. Very frustrating for me. The PA came in and started saying he thinks I have a tear you can't see, and to have it scoped out. I am deathly afraid of going under, but I was going to try and suck it up if that was going to help me out. I am TIRED of being in pain!!! The Dr. comes in and looks me over and tells me I have Subscapular Bursitis. Well at least I have a diagnosis right? He says he doesn't see many of these cases, lucky me. I told him one doctor told me I have Fibromyalgia and that he said he found fiber balls in my shoulder. He started to laugh. There is no such thing as fiber balls in your shoulder. Boy I must have seen a QUACK DOCTOR! I don't see him anymore... He then proceeded to tell me there is no surgery, nothing to fix it! NO CURE!!!! I almost started to cry! I was having a hard time keeping my feelings in check the whole visit. Apparently 18 years is a lot to keep inside! He did say he would do an injection and see if that helped, but wasn't very hopefully it would work since it's been 18 years. I might have to have more and it probably won't do anything for me. I left the office and burst into tears. I am in a lot of pain from the shot, so it just made the shoulder worse! I can't sleep so here I am...

This is a major blow! I was hoping that one thing would go my way and that I might get some help with the shoulder. Chronic pain is very hard to live with and you don't know what that person is going through unless you have had it. It SUCKS!!! My husband keeps telling me I could have something worse like Parkinson's, and that's true, but he doesn't get what I go through. I should be grateful for the problems I have, but I have a lot of them and I am beginning to feel like I am a very old lady. I have had so many issues lately its just not funny!

My issue board: - sorry I am venting :)
1- Chronic fatigue - I got mono after I had Jaden and it turned into this. Lucky me, no cure and doctors don't know a thing about it! I have my days, but for the most part sleep is the big thing that doesn't work for me. I never can sleep through the night and there are days I am just dead tired, but the show must go on.
2 - My eye sight stinks! It just keeps getting worse, I am so blind! No candidate for lasik and I can't wear contacts. Yeah glasses for the rest of my life!
3- Dumb left Ear. It is all fussy and I can't hear out of it very well. The ENT doctor has no idea why. Once again doctors are so helpful! It has gotten really clogged up and I am having a hard time hearing.
4- I have lost hearing. Yes call me an old person. They tested me. It is all up hill from here!
5-I have a really bad deviated septum, and part of my nose is con caved in and part of it sticks out. The doctor I went to won't touch me and I have been to chicken to go anywhere else yet. I get bad sinus infections and bronchitis at least 5+ times a year. It is such a mess I could be out for a month or more if I decided to get it fixed, but I am a chicken!
6- I have bad allergies, sorry Jaden you got them from me!
7- I have a bad back. Yes fun. Thanks dad! I also tore something in it a few years ago from bending down, yes just from bending! It still gives me issues.
8- Stomach! This is the one that is giving me major problems. I have had issues with it ever since I was pregnant with Jaden and it just has gotten worse over the years. We went on the cruise and I thought I was going to die! I guess it's about time I did something about it. I doubled over in pain and went to the insta care, no help. Don't go there if you have stomach problems they can't do a thing for you! I am in pain a lot, can't eat anything with out being in pain and you can't really tell if you are hungry or not, because you are in pain. Lots of other issues with it, I will spare you the lovely details. I still have to see a specialist for that one next week. Of course the ultra sound I had didn't find anything. My tests never do! But I know something is wrong! Since my dad has Crone's disease I thought I better figure this one out. So far no luck. The roller coaster ride I am on, I can't get off, I don't like roller coasters!
9- Chronic pain in the shoulder for 18 years!
10- Eczema! It is even on my hands, so they are always dry and they crack. It hurts. Worst place ever!

Now you know everything about my issues! Sorry! I am just loosing my mind! I am only 36 years old! I just feel overwhelmed by this and the doctor just sent me over the edge. I know everyone has their own health issues, and I am trying not to have a pity party. I just would like some help in fixing something! I didn't think I was going to have to deal with the pain for the rest of my life. It is just a hard pill to swallow for me right now. I just now have to figure out how to live with the pain for the rest of my life and if I could figure out my stomach! cry!